Monday, April 27, 2015

Chasing Joy's Strategy for Emotional Eating

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Six Steps for When Emotional Eating Strikes
On Saturday I could not stop eating.  I wish I could blame my overeating on a pregnancy caused insatiable appetite.  But I can't.  I was not even physically hungry and cannot confirm a pregnancy.   I just wanted food and to keep eating.  I will spare you the details, and myself the embarrassment of listing all that I ate.  What I will share is that while consuming all of this food what I was really doing was eating my emotions.

I've known that I am an emotional eater for some time now.  This knowledge is good, however it has not stopped me from overeating / possible binge eating.  Now is the time to act on this knowledge and if not correct at least improve upon this behavior.  Writing this blog is a great thing.  One great thing is that I have a few strategies already in place to help myself feel happier.  So late Saturday Night I started to come up with a Chasing Joy Strategy for Emotional Eating.  Here is what I have so far:

Step 1: Identify the emotions you are trying to eat. 
For me this was fear, loneliness, powerless, envy.
Step 2: What is causing you to feel this way. 
Fear: Fear of getting pregnant, fear of not being able to get pregnant (yes both outcomes come with a certain amount of fear), and fear over my mom's health.
Loneliness: While I feel going solo on my journey to being a mom is the right thing for me to do at this time this is definitely my plan B. I would love to have found my Mr. Joy Chaser already.   It has been a long time since I have felt loved in a romantic way. I miss that feeling and very much want to experience it again.  
Powerless: Back to the baby thing and my mom's health. Both of these things are entirely in God's hands.  All I can do is pray and take all the steps that I can to become a mom and do all that I can to care foe my mother. But it is entirely up to God to do the rest.  I have faith but it is hard to feel powerless or helpless.  
Lastly, envy:  I hate feeling envious of anyone but I am human and these feelings come. When I look around sometimes I feel like many of my peers have it easier than me.  They have more money, healthy parents, husbands, boyfriend, and children conceived without spending a ridiculous amount of money on sperm.  
Step 3: Practice Gratitude.  Now that you've identified the feelings and what is causing them let's focus on some positive things.  For each of the negative feelings you are eating come up with one ore more things that you are feeling thankful/ grateful for.
I thank God that I am able to pursue motherhood. I thank God that I get along so well with my mom and that my job is pretty flexible to allow me to be there for her more when she needs me.  I am thankful that I own my home.  I thank God that I am no longer pouring myself into relationships that are not going anywhere.  I am thankful that I believe in God and the power of prayer.  I am thankful that I don't have other people's problems.  I don't want to trade my stress for yours.  
Step 4: Identify things you can control.  We cannot control all aspects of our lives or how we feel about them, but there are many things that we can control.  Take a few minutes to identify what those things are.
I can control how much exercise I get, how much sleep I get (for now), what goes in my mouth, how my home looks, what I watch, what I read, and who I talk to (outside of work that is).
Step 5: What tasks can you work on that are within your control and will help you feel empowered.
I can workout a meal plan for this week. I can exercise and add to my #10950minoffitness. I can work on de-cluttering my home.
Step 6: Come up with one or two positive thoughts or mantras that you can focus on when the thoughts related to the negative emotions surface.
What if I cannot get pregnant -> God has given me this maternal instinct for a reason
What if I do get pregnant -> I will be a great mom just like I have been a great aunt and a great caregiver to my mom.
Mom's health ->  God is a healer and has kept us going these last 2 plus years.
 Loneliness -> All of the steps I'm taking to Chase Joy, to create the life I want and be happier, are putting me in position to be a great partner and wife.
Powerless ->  I do not have to fix and control everything.  That is not what God created me for.
Envy ->  We all have a different path in life.  Other's blessings are designed to keep me encouraged as to all of the different ways God brings Joy to our lives.  Their Joy is their's and mine will be mine.
Step 7: Write a blog post.  LOL just kidding.  But getting this plan on "paper" has been very helpful.

Do you ever fall victim to emotional eating?  Emotions usually don't taste very good, what's your plan to stop emotional eating? What steps would you add?

Friday, April 24, 2015

TMI Alert!!! This Journey to Becoming a Mom is Getting Real.

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Happy Friday!

I hope you are visiting today for an update on what I expect will be my greatest source of joy, my journey to becoming a mom.  Last week I shared the video I did after getting a smiley face on my OPK indicating that I'd  be ovulating soon.  After getting the smiley face I called my doctor's office to schedule my IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) .  I had it the next day.  

It was a beautiful day with lots of sunshine.  My mom came with me to my appointment.  She has been my number 1 supporter in this process.  No surprise really as she's my number 1 supporter period.  To make the day even more exciting and special my mom gave me a gift.  She gave me a necklace, a very special necklace.  It was the very first piece of jewelry my dad had ever given her.  She gave it to me to wear that day saying that way both of my parents could be there with me.  My mom in present my dad in spirit and remembered with the necklace.  

When I was researching this process I was comforted by a few you tube videos of women getting IUIs.  So I decided to capture my insemination on video.  My mom acted as the camera woman so please excuse the shakiness.  

This video is indeed TMI but don't worry you wont really see anything but the first steps (hopefully) on my journey to becoming a mom.  

This is probably the realest thing I've ever done on the blog.  I hope someone else may be comforted or educated about the process by watching my video as I was in watching others.  

Please pray for me and cross your fingers that I might soon have a bundle of joy.

Have you seen any other live IUI videos?  Was the video what you were expecting? 

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Currently

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Currently....

Currently I am copying off of my blogger friend LaShawn of Everyday Eyecandy.  A couple weeks ago I read her blog post Currently where she talked about all of the things she was currently up to.  I like going to blogs for specific recipes, tips, or resources.  But more than anything else I visit my favorite blogs because I want to know what my favorite bloggers are up to.  I loved LaShawn's post. If you are like me and like knowing what your favorite bloggers are up to you will enjoy this post.

Currently I am reading What to Expect When You are Expecting.  If you have been reading the blog over the last few weeks or if you follow me on You Tube then you know I am hoping to become a mom soon. I think What To Expect is the most popular pregnancy book in print.  The version I'm reading goes from pre-conception to postpartum.

Currently I am watching Modern Family.  I know this show has been around for years but I only really got into it in the last few months.  I enjoy the back to back reruns on the USA network and now I try to catch the new episodes on ABC.  I like the simple comedy of the show.  I always laugh and it does not leave my wondering what's going to happen next.  No drama.  It's not that I don't like drama though.  After catching up on Empire on on demand I am now getting my drama fix from The Following.   I have enjoyed this show from the beginning.  It is one of the few that I make sure to watch live.  As a matter of fact if you follow me on twitter you have likely seen me live tweet while watching.

Currently  work (the day job) is getting on my nerves.  I have a mix of annoyance and boredom going on.  If I'm not feeling bored with my normal tasks I am feeling annoyed by some issue or project that has suddenly become my responsibility.  We've all been there I'm sure.  I am still very thankful for my job and what it enables me to accomplish in my life.  At times while I'm feeling this mix of boredom annoyance I am more thankful or this blog that allows me to be creative and feel fulfilled.

Currently I am nervous about  my journey to becoming a mom.  More people who know me personally are finding out.  I know Duh that's what happens when you put it on your blog!!!.  But not a lot of people in my real life read my blog. But this topic is definitely getting their attention.  So far positive response though.  Regarding becoming a mom I am nervous about being a non-traditional family, will I be a good mom, stretchmarks, weight gain, finances, and about a million other things that I'm pretty sure are perectly normal for someone entering this phase of life.

Currently I am excited about my journey to becoming a mom.  Ha!  That's right.  I'm both excited and nervous about the same thing.  I have wanted to be a mom for so long I cannot help but be excited.  I so look forward to telling my friends and family that a bundle of joy is on the way, decorating a nursery, ultrasounds, baby clothes, etc, etc, etc....

Currently I am praying for my mom who has an ongoing illness, my cousin who recently lost her dad, and for any prayer requests posted in the Chasing Joy Prayer Group.

Currently I have been eating Way Too Much Sugar!!!!   I am supposed to be losing weight for my health, increased fertility, healthy pregnancy and all of that.  But lately I have been falling off the wagon when it comes to candy, regular soda, and sweets.  This is not good.  I really need to get back on track.  Did yall know one of my childhood nicknames was Candy?  This is a name I do not need to live up to.

Currently I am cooking nothing.   I usually like to cook but I just have not been in the mood lately.  The not cooking is probably very much related to the eating too much sugar.

Currently I am looking forward to my cousins baptism later today and my book club friends birthday celebration tomorrow.  I would like to be baptized one day and admire my cousin for taking this step.  I love birthdays and am happy to be included in birthday celebrations.

Currently I spend most of my data plan on I Heart Radio Elvis Duran Replay Channel, You Tube, and NetFlix.

Currently I am thankful for my mom, my health, my income, the change in the weather (yay spring), and that Blogalicious is withing driving distance this year.

This is a gimps of what my life is currently like.  What is your life like, currently???

Monday, April 20, 2015

I Feel Pretty, Do You? How often?

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Last week I felt pretty twice.  Two separate times I caught a gimps of myself in my rear view mirror in the car and though beautiful!!!

The first time this was just a passing thought.  I did not dwell on it.  I just went about driving wherever I was going, I think to work.  The 2nd time, my thought of feeling beautiful was quickly followed by, wow that's the 2nd time this week and then followed by the questioning thoughts, why am I surprised that to feel beautiful twice in a week, why only two times, shouldn't I feel beautiful most of the time if not all of the times?

These are the thoughts leading to this blog post.  While I don't think we should be vain or conceited about our looks, I do think that feeling good about our appearance is essential aspect of feeling more joyful.  Not all or even most of our joy is related to our looks but liking or not liking what you see in the mirror definitely impacts confidence, self esteem, and happiness.  So the fact that I only felt beautiful twice in a week is a bit concerning.

It's not that I feel unattractive because that is not the case.  I guess most of the time catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror either generates no reaction or a negative reaction.  Most often its no reaction.   Unfortunately, more than twice a week I will look in the mirror and have some kind of negative thought about a pimple, my weight, my hair not cooperating, my eyebrows looking unruly etc.

I have been trying to figure out what was different about the two time last week when I felt beautiful.  I am at a lost.  The 2nd time I just had my hair done but the first time I hadn't.  Neither time did I have on much makeup.  The first time was in the morning, not much sunlight, the 2nd was mid afternoon, bright and sunny.  I was not wearing anything special either time.  The only think I can think of is maybe these were the only two times that I was not rushing and actually took the time to look at myself.  That combined with the fact I was looking  in a rear view mirror, too small to really zero in on imperfections, allowed me to appreciate myself and feel beautiful.

It may be unrealistic to feel beautiful every time I look in the mirror but It's not a bad goal to aim for right?    How often do you feel beautiful?  When you find yourself feeling beautiful does it surprise you?

Friday, April 17, 2015

Oh Joy!!!! Baby Making Time

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I have wanted to be a mom my entire life.  I started seriously thinking about parenting in my late 20s.  In my early 30s I casually considered having a baby on my own if I did not find my Mr. Joy Chaser soon.  At age 34 I started praying about it, discussing it with my mom and joined the Single Mother By Choice (SMC) online community and researching the Internet for all things SMC.  Right before turning 35 I meet with my Gynecologist, a Reproductive Endocrinologist, did blood work, ultrasounds, and had an HSG (very unpleasant, but quick, test that determines if your uterus is normal and tubes are open) .  Finally, at age 35  I am officially trying to conceive.

 It is officially Time To Make A Baby Yall!


Have you ever used an at home Ovulation Predictor Kit?  Did you find the Kit reassuring that you were baby dancing or getting your insemination at the right time? 

P. S. Please pray for me that this journey to becoming a mom is a short and uneventful one ending with a beautiful Bundle Of Joy.  

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