Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I am Chasing Joy, looking for a rainbow, focusing on the bright side of life, seeking happiness. Part of all this is truly loving one’s self. So the challenge is to list as many things as you can that you love about yourself. The list must include both physical and non physical characteristics.
Here is my list:
1. my smile
2. my sarcastic sense of humor
3. my curves
4. my logic
5. my planning abilities
6. my spirituality
7. my height
8. my cleavage
9. my intelligence
10. my hands
Can’t wait to see your lists!!!
Monday, March 22, 2010
It’s been a few weeks since the big sale (See Devil’s workshop going out of Business…. Everything Inspired by Negativity Must go!!!) I have gotten rid of a lot of the negativity by filling my idle time. However, the Devil’s workshop still has some negative inventory. I figured it’s time for an update.
Here is my previous list of things I have always wanted to do:
• Take Ballet – I took a class (See Ready For My Tutu). It was a great experience. I got confidence from the experience. I cannot say I loved Ballet. But I love the fact that I tried something that I always wanted to do but was afraid to do.
• Go to a Hockey game – I have looked into this. Flyer’s tickets are more expensive than I thought. I still plan to get to a game though.
• Volunteer – This was the winning choice on the which activity should I do next poll that you readers responded too. I have started to give this some though but I have not decided what type of volunteer opportunity to pursue.
• Visit Bermuda - Cruise is booked!!! I am really excited.
• Bet on horses at the race track – Maybe I’ll try this in the spring. It’d be nice to sit outside and watch the races.
• Take a boudoir picture – I am not ready for this one yet.
• Write a book – I have not actively started on this yet. However, my cousin did mention something about turning this blog into a book. That’s a great compliment.
• Go to Disney world – Not yet in my immediate plans
• Go to the Oprah show – I signed up with the Oprah website for the drawings for show tickets. I hope I’m lucky enough to draw tickets before her last show.
• Dye my hair red – I have been discussing this with my stylist. This should be happening pretty soon. I’m going for a rinse because that won’t require bleaching my hair.
• Be able to jog 3 miles nonstop – Working on this. I am up to about 1 mile non-stop
• Do men’s pushups – working on this as well. I still cannot do one yet. I do pushups of the wall or bench or on my knees. I also do the Wii Fit which has a plank exercise that will help condition me for the pushups.
• Fit into a single digit size – I do have a ways to go on this one. But the jogging and pushups will help me get there, along with taking better care of myself in general. (See My Body My Temple…Or My Body My Minimally Maintained Shelter??? )
Here is the list of things suggested to me:
• Checking out new exercises – I think the ballet falls under this. I also started Zumba classes a few months ago. I Love zumba. I am interested in a Bollywood style dance class.
• Planning events like dinners and movies with friends – I have been doing this much more often.
• Reading – I’ve always like to read but I have not really considered how I can use reading to find my joy. I need to look into this more
• Music – I took the time to identify some songs that do make me happy regardless of what else is happening (see Joy Playlist). I am going to make an effort to find more songs to add to the list
• a good laugh – I’m always looking for this. It happens most often while spending time with friends.
• Take a nice walk – I did this the other day. I need to do it more often for me and my dog’s benefit.
• Wash your favorite sheets, mix ½ block of Velveeta with 1 can of Rotel , turn on comedy central, sit in bed and laugh at off color jokes all day – Tried this with slight variations and loved it (see I am Worth the Cheese Dip)
• Set a goal…and reach it – I have not decided on a goal yet.
• Dance in the mirror naked or with just underwear – Not yet!!! Maybe soon
• Put on a fashion show for myself - Not yet. I am thinking this would be a great thing to combine with cleaning out my closet.
• Helping someone - I did have the opportunity to help a fried with her resume. While I was not really looking forward to spending my free time doing this. It did make me feel really good to help her and know that maybe I had a small hand in her finding her next career move.
• Tennis – Not yet, but I think this was a really good suggestion
• Meetup.com – I’ll have to check this site out. I think it may be a good way to meet new people
• Regular spa treatments – This is a great suggestion. I usually go to the spa every year on my birthday. I just did it and it was great. I do think I should treat myself more than once a year.
Here are a few things I would like to add to my list:
• Take a cake decorating class
• See the Lion King
• See Wicked
• See Cats (I don’t know if this is even possible)
• Go to a nice aquarium
I am sure I’ll think of other activities as I rid myself of negativity and idle time and shut down the Devil’s Workshop. Also please give me your ideas. I’ll try them (within reason). Waiting for your suggestions.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
I certainly hope not. While I loved my 20’s I certainly don’t want to go back.
My 20s were finishing college and worrying about a getting a real job, taking a position and spending 2 and a half years hating it but too inexperienced to know it. I never sleep on a Sunday night because I was too anxious about going to work the next day. I thought this was normal and that everyone felt this way about their job.
My 20s was dating guys with no job or ambition, even dating a guy who actually got locked up on our date because they were cute and or funny; then dating assholes that did not care about me because they did have jobs and ambition, followed by dating men I was not even attracted too because they were upstanding member of society. All of which while fun at times was a complete waste of time.
My 20s were losing over 50lbs on weightwatchers only to gain it plus some back because I had not dealt with the real reasons I over used food.
My 20s were feeling like a teenager while making grown up decisions and living up to grown up expectations.
However, My 20s were also very good to me.
My 20s were getting my degree (Go TU. I’m an Owl for life)
My 20’s were building some great friendships and learning how to make an effort to maintain others.
My 20s were learning how to save for a goal and buying my own car and financing my 1st adult vacation.
My 20s were learning the Joy’s and sorrows of home ownership.
My 20s was choosing a career not just a job. (I admit it Government Contracting is it for me)
My 20’s was experiencing heartbreaks, disappointments, and the painful loss of a parent and realizing I am strong enough to go on even while it hurts and find my Joy.
If I can do all this in the 10 years from 20 to 29 imagine what I can learn and accomplish in my 30s and the Joy that I may find there.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I am now only days away from my 30th birthday. As I summarized in the heading of the blog my life is not exactly how I thought it’d be. Career wise I’m on track. However, there are other areas where I don’t have it all together yet (see Having It All Together for more details). I honestly thought I’d be married with children by 30. But regardless of how reality has matched with my ideals I’m still super excited to be turning 30.
Here are some of the reasons why…
• It feels like a New Beginning
• Getting carded is now a complement
• Cheaper car insurance
• I have a better body image and imagine it only getting better
• Learned not to worry about what other people think
• It is acceptable to have your own personal style and no longer a slave to fashion trends
• I have enough experience with people to Identify true friends
• Reruns on Thirty Something and Friends will be even funnier
• I have developed a more realistic view of life
• Have experienced disappointment and survived
• More confident in my decision making abilities
• Still youthful and sexy but Definitely a grownup – pleasing my parents is no longer a top priority
• I’m approaching my sexual peak…
• I can now be a state senator (not that I want to, but you never know)
• It’s a great excuse to go to AC and party with my friends
• I expect to wake up much wiser on my 30th birthday (not really but I do expect to become wiser over this next decade)
• I’m not turning 40
And ofcourse all of the things listed above greatly increase my potential for finding Joy in my 30s.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
A few weeks back I received some suggestions on things to do to boost your mood when feeling down. One of the suggestions I received was listen to music. I’d heard people say this before. I must admit I am not a music lover. I like music. I like to dance. I really like the sound of real instruments. But I cannot say I love music. I’m not permanently attached to my IPod. As matter of fact when I went to use it at the gym the other day I had not even realized that the battery had died.
I think the reason I have never Loved music is because music can bring on emotions and memories like nothing else. Sometimes, especially when I have been feeling down I have not been wanted to take that emotional walk down memory lane. For example in a 30 min car ride listening to any random radio station I could hear a song that reminds me of a college party, a past relationship, my childhood, a loved one who’s passed, and maybe just a memory of seeing an artist live in concert. Music will bring about good and bad memories happy and sad emotions. To avoid the risk of bad memories and sadness I’ve often turned away from music when I feeling down and turned my car radio dial to talk radio.
However, I am on a mission here. I am changing my life. I am Chasing Joy. In the spirit of my mission I’m willing to try the things that have been suggested to me and so I turned my ear to music and listened to hear the Joy…
To avoid the randomness of radio and TV I turned to YouTube. I looked up songs that no matter what my mood always provided me with a good memory and or made me feel happy. So now I have a great Joy Playlist to put on my IPod. Here is a list of those songs, some of the lyrics that spoke to me, and why they put me in a better place.
Destiny’s Child: Bootylicious – This song makes appreciate my curves and always makes me want to get up and dance … “I don’t think you ready for this cause my body to Bootylicious for you”
Independent Women Part 1 –This song makes me feel good for being a strong woman capable of taking care of myself. “Shoes on my feet I bought it, the house I live in I bought it, the car I’m driving, I depend on me”
Erica Badu: Bag Lady – This song always reminds me to “Pack light” and not hold on to baggage. “let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go” “All you must hold on to, is you, is you, is you”
Ice Cube: Today Was a Good day –This is the first CD that I ever purchased. I got the single when I was about 12. This was before they stuck the parental advisory sticker on everything. I loved how Ice Cube appreciated all the little things that went his way that day (before he get’s arrested, lol) “Just waking up in the morning got to thank God. I don’t know but today seems kind of odd. No barking form the dog, no smog, and momma cooked a breakfast with no hog”Subscribe
India Arie: Video - This song is just great for any woman’s self esteem. “Every Freckle on my face is where it’s supposed to be.” “I know my creator didn’t make no mistakes on me. My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes I’m loving what I see.” I’m not built like a supermodel but I’ve learned to love myself unconditionally because I am a queen.” “Go ahead and love yourself cause everything is gone to be alright.”
Jill Scott: Golden – This song taught me to live my life to the fullest and put joy in my soul and aim to please God. “I be high stepping yall and letting the joy unfold” “representing God’s glory. Hope He’s proud of me.”
Kirk Franklin: Brighter Day - This song is so uplifting. It just makes me smile. “I never knew I could be so happy. I never knew I’d feel so secure because of Your love life has brand new meaning. It’s going to be a brighter day”
Lil Kim: I know. Lil Kim right after Kirk Franklin???? What can I say, I like a mix. Despite Kim’s raunchiness I’ve always found her to be strong, confident, and sexy.
No time – This song reminds me of high school and being a teenager. “I got no time for fake N*****s” “While you N*****s talking $#!t I’m counting bank figures.” “You can’t’ stop a chick from ballin” “Beside every man is a bad girl”
Quiet Storm - This takes me back to partying at the Orchid Room (Dowling’s Palace) when I was in college at Temple. Good Times!!!! “I’m a leader you on some following $!it” “I put 100% in every line I drop!” “yall wish yall lived the life I live!”
Get Money – Love it! This one also takes me back to high school memories. “ Now you want to by me diamonds and Armani suits , Adrienne Vittadini and Channel Nine boots, things to make up for all the games and the lies Hallmark cards saying I apologize… How could you ever deceived me paybacks for real… believe me.”
Mary J Bleige: I love her. Her lyrics just speak for themselves.
Be Happy - “how can I love somebody else if I can’t love myself enough to know when It’s time, time to let go” “I just want to be so happy but the answer lies in me…”
Just fine - “I like what I see… when I’m walking past the mirror “ “Don’t worry about you and what you going to do, I’m a lady and I must stay classy.” “I ain’t gone let nothing get in my way, no matter what nobody has to say.” “Feels so good when you are doing all the things that you want to do.”
Dance For Me - This song reminds me that whether I am floating feel high feeling the vibe or feeling stressed cause my week was a mess I can get on the floor and Dance for me. I can leave all my troubles and cares behind and dance for myself.
Mary Mary: Heaven – This song makes me feel happy and reminds me of how good Heaven will be and that I’ll see my dad again when I get there. “Got to get myself together cause I’ve got some place to go and I’m praying when I get there I see everyone I know.” “In life we go through changes though we know it serves a purpose sometimes it just seems worthless” “as long as I keep running I’m gone make it there someday I know.” “Every day I’m getting better cause I want to make it in.” “It get’s hard sometimes, sometimes I lose my way. But God knows I’m trying to get to Heaven someday.”
God In Me – This song reminds me of God’s blessings and His presence in my life. “You look at her life think she got it made” “Everything she got the girls been given…She call it a blessing.” “What you can’t see is she’s on her knees and if you ask her she’ll tell you it’s the God in me.”
Natasha Bedingfield: Unwritten - This song teaches me to not live life through other people’s experiences and take chances. “Release your inhibitions,” “live your life with arms wide open, today ends where your book begins the rest is just unwritten.”
Notorious B.I.G. Biggie Smalls: Juicy – I loved this song the first time I heard it. It is about all about looking back, seeing and celebrating how far you’ve come while still focusing and looking ahead. “Know who you are, don’t let them hold you down, reach for the stars.”
RUN DMC and Aerosmith: Walk This Way - I remember dancing to this as a little girl. This song gave me an appreciate rock music.
Salt N Pepa: I’ve always loved Salt n Pepa. I have always felt they were pretty and looked to be having fun and enjoying life in their songs.
Shake Your Thang – This song reminds me of my childhood and making up a dance to it with girls in my neighborhood. I like how the song encourages women to take ownership of their bodies. “It’s your thang do what you want to do” “If a guy touch my body I just put him in check and say we just met we can’t do that yet” “It’s my body and I’ll shake it crazy!!!”
Tye Tribet: Victory – This song has a great beat and is also very uplifting. “There is no Failure… Our God can never lose and that same power it now belongs to me““Every situation I face I’ll win.. Everything works for my good in the end.” “My God causes me to Triumph and overcome.”
I’m sure there are many other Joy inspiring songs out there. What songs are on your Joy Playlist???