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Friday, August 27, 2010

Feel Good Friday - Becaus of My Dad


Happy Feel Good Friday!!!

Today is actually a sad day for me but I am going to make an effort to feel good anyway. One year ago today I lost my dad, life as I knew it ended and this knew world without him begain. Everything looks the same but feels so different and you know things will never be how they were. I'm sure many of you who have lost a loved one can relate.

Obviously, I miss him dearly, but on this feel good friday instead of focusing on the pain caused by his absence I will focus on all the Joy he brought to my life and how greatful I am to be his daughter. I can say without a doubt or hesitation I had the Best Dad Ever!!!! (take my word you will lose any debate on this topic)

So for feel good friday take a few minutes to think about the people you love, appreciate them, be thankful for them and acknowleged how they have shaped the person you are. Who I am is largley shaped by who my dad was.

Because of my dad I know that I am beautiful
Because of my dad I know what true unconditional love is
Because of my dad I have a work ethic
Because of my dad I know the importance of saving
Because of my dad I know God
Because of my dad I know prayer works
Because of my dad I know alcohol does not change who a person is so being drunk is never an excuse for bad behavior
Because of my dad I know the importance of family
Because of my dad I know the importance of keeping your distance from people who are not good for you, even if they are family
Because of my dad I know the importance of education
Because of my dad I have a College degree
Because of my dad I know I am a truly wonderful person
Because of my dad I know I am a good daughter
Because of my dad I know the importance of laughter and silliness in your home
Because of my dad I know what a trifecta is
Because of my dad I know how important breakfast is
Because of my dad I know the importance of singing to your kids
Because of my dad I have a good head for business
Because of my dad I had visited at least 3 colleges before I was 11
Because of my dad I know that you can touch a person’s life just by showing up
Because of my dad I have the desire to write
Because of my dad I will be writing a very similar list about my mom while she can appreciate it
Because of my dad I have an even stronger desire to get to heaven
Because of my dad I know the pleasure of live sports
Because of my dad I play Christmas music every October 1st
Because of my dad I know how fun gift giving can be
Because of my dad I know how to drive
Because of my dad I can watch a football game, baseball game, basketball game, or boxing match and actually know what is going on
Because of my dad I never had a bad Christmas or birthday
Because of my dad you will not catch me in the streets with rollers in my hair
Because of my dad I have my dog
Because of my dad I will be a good mom
Because of my dad I had a happy childhood
Because of my dad I have common sense and I use it
Because of my dad I believe in myself
Because of my dad I have had the strength to survive this first year without him
Because of my dad I Chase Joy

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Life Lessons: Feelings vs. Reality


Your outfit for today is hanging neatly on your closet door. You put it on and look in the mirror. What happened??? It looked so nice on the hanger but looks awful on your body. So you go to your back up outfit. But the result is the same. Outfit on hanger = nice, outfit on your body = awful. On to the third outfit, but the third time is not the charm. This outfit is not right either. But how can this be? These are not new items. You have worn them before and they looked great. You've not gone up or down in your weight and the washing machine has not turned into an evil clothes destroying monster. How can everything you pull out of your closet suddenly look so awful when you put it on??? Oh well, you decide to head on out into the world despite your wardrobe turning against you. And what happens next... You get a compliment from a friend or co-worker saying how nice you look today.

We've all had days like this. (If you haven't you are very fortunate.) Days where no matter what we put on we just don’t feel attractive or our best. Then we surprisingly get a compliment. Sadly often even after the complement we are still not convinced and continue on feeling uncomfortable in our own skin.

Recently I was talking to another woman about this. She happens to be a therapist and made an excellent point. She said that we have to remind ourselves that our feelings are just that A FEELING and feelings often do not represent reality. We should acknowledge the feeling and then let it pass. The same way you can be feeling good one minute and then something happen and you feel bad; allow the opposite to happen. If you feel bad about yourself acknowledge it is a feeling, but don't dwell on it and then give time to let the feeling pass.

So, If you know you have on a nice, neat, coordinated outfit, your hair is presentable, teeth are brushed and you basically have yourself together and you still feeling unattractive just remind yourself that it is JUST A FEELING and that it will pass. Life Lesson: Do not mistake the negative feelings we sometimes have about ourselves as fact. Feelings are often Just Feeling don’t let them cast shadows on your Joy. Don't confuse Negativity with your Reality. Create your Reality on a Canvas of Joy.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Feel Good Friday - Attitude of Gratitude


Happy Happy Friday!

Since I started writing these Feel Good Friday post it seems like Friday gets here faster and faster. I guess that is because my focus has changed a bit. While time is constant (60 min. in an hr, 24 hr. in a day) it is also relative. Albert Einstein said it best, "Sit next to a pretty girl for an hour and it will seem like a minute. Hold your hand in the fire for a minute and it will seem like an hour. Therefor, time is relative."

Just as the way I see time has changed have my views on a lot of things have changes. It all has to do with Focus. Since I started Chasing Joy I've caught glimpses of it everywhere. Nothing has opened my eyes to Joy more than Gratitude. If I'm in an annoying or difficult situation it is becoming easier and easier for me to find something positive to be thankful for.

Stuck in traffic - thankful that I am in my car and not on SEPTA, thankful that the AC is working

Late for work - thankful that I have a job

Gained 5lbs - thankful I have more than enough food

A million obligations this weekend - thankful that so many people desire and enjoy my company

Hair stylist taking forever - Thankful I can afford to have someone else do my hair

I could go on and on.

So on this feel good Friday try to focus on Gratitude and Thankfulness. Take a few minutes to count your blessings. So what are you greatful for?

I'll start you off:

1. Thank God it's Friday (TGIF)

2. ???

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The Joy of Being Single


Today would have been me and my ex's two year anniversary had we stayed together. That is kind of a sad thing but I am not sad about it. I am happy that my head is in a positive place and that I am focused on Chasing Joy. So instead of focusing on what isn't I'll focus on what is. While I do hope to find that special person one day there are some real positive things about being single.

Here are a few great things about being single:

1. Christmas is a lot cheaper
2. You can sleep in the middle of the bed
3. No one steals the covers
4. Only you suffer if you don't keep on top of your housework
5. The DVR has only your TV shows on it
6. The grocery bill is way cheaper
7. You do not have to make plans around anyone else's schedule
8. Only your happiness is a priority
9. You only have to deal with your own problems and stressors
10. You don't have to deal with anyone else's parents, children, or other family members
11. Not having to explain to anyone else when you want time to yourself

12. Overall you have more freedom and flexibility and can be more
13. Only shaving your legs if you need to wear a skirt (for girls)
14. You don't have to negotiate where you'll spend your holidays
16. You have no obligations to anyone else
17. Less Laundry
18. You don't have to explain where you have been
19. Your money is yours and yours alone
20. You don't have to compromise

What is your favorite thing about being single? If you are not single what do you want your single friends to appreciate about their relationship status?

Friday, August 13, 2010

Top 10 Signs That Its Time To Quit Your Job


Happy Feel Good Friday :-)

Yay Friday!!! For most of us today is the end of the work week. Oh what a good feeling. Let’s be real, even if you have a great job I bet Friday can’t come fast enough most weeks. And sometimes the week seems never ending and Friday can’t get here soon enough. But how do you know when you need a few days off vs. a new job all together. Maybe this will help; here are the Top 10 Signs That Its Time To Quit Your Job.

10. Every day feels like Monday
9. The office safety team unplugs your desk fan but leaves the cord out for you to trip over it.
8. When you are so frustrated by lost sales that you burst into tears
7. When the highlight of your month is the monthly fire drill.
6. When the lady who cleans the rest room stands outside of the stall, knowing you are in there, for several very uncomfortable seconds.
5. When it is more fun to be stuck in the elevator than go to your office
4. When your older female superior flashes you her boobs (you are a girl)
3. When everyone in the office is paralyzed with fear when your OCD co-worker spills his coffee.
2. You are more excited about your gyno appointment than spending the rest of the day in the office
1. When your boss goes in for surgery and you and the rest of the team hope she does not make it.

So how did you know it was time to quit your Job and pursue Joy with another employer???

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Life Lessons II


A few weeks ago I decided to enter the Miss Curve 2011 Contest. I wrote a bit about this while poking a little harmless fun at Pagents in Feel Good Friday post Pagent, Ready For the Crown. This is something that is completely out of my comfort zone. I signed up for a couple reasons. In general I have been trying to do some new things and this is completely new to me. I also felt it would be a good self-estem boost.

So, I told my mom, some friends, family, and co-workers as well as posted it on FaceBook. I did something I have not been in the habit of doing, I asked people to do something for me, to help me, and support me by voting for me. For some reason I have a hard time asking for any kind of help. I do not like to show any sort of weakness. I do not want to feel in any way indebted to people.

This is CRAZY!!!! and I really need to get over it. Asking for hlep is often very hard and requries a certain humbleness and persoal strength to admit that there is someting you want/need and that you cannot do it on your own. Asking for help also gives others an opportunity to stand up and show you they care about you, are there for you and will support you.

This is exactly what happend. People started voting. Friends, family, co-workers, people I don't even know that well voted. Some even posted it on there own Facebook pages and personal blogs. All of these peopel rose to the occation and showed they were there for me, supported, me, and were willing to help me go after a goal. As of now I am in the top 3rd of all the contestants.

Life Lesson: When you tell people what your goals are many people will activley help you achieve them. When you ask for help, people will offer help and support you. Admiting when you need help and allowing others to be there for and support you only strengthens the foundation on the road to Joy.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Feel Good Friday: 100 Things About Me


Get to Know blogger Chasing Joy
Happy Friday!!!

I know I am late with the Feel Good Friday Post. But I made it before friday was over.

I saw this on a really great and interesting blog Mommy to the Monsters and figured I'd do it too. :-) It is a nice light post for Feel Good Friday.

I hope some of you will do this too and post your 100 things about you on your blog, or facebook. If you do leave your link in the comments.

1. I am named after my aunt.

2. I was the yongest on both sides of my family for a long time.

3. I graduated from Temple University

4. College was some of the best times of my life

5. My dad also graduated from TU

6. I believed he brain washed me to go there

7. I think we are all brain washed by our parents

8. I have tried to write at least 4 books and lost interest in my own ideas

9. I think blogging is the right format for me.

10. When I pulblish a blog post I am filled with both excitement and a little fear

11. Writing this blog has changed my life for the better.

12. Writing this blog has led me too some knew friendships

13. It has also created some distance between myself and some friends (surprislingly)

14. My life today is trumatically different than it was a year ago today

15. It has almost been a year since my dad passed away

16. I am not over it

17. The pain is not any less

18. I think you just learn to live with it

19. I look for the Joy I know he wanted for me

20. I do not belive that there is something positive in every situation

21. Some things just suck and you have to decide not to focus on them

22. There is something positive in most things however

23. I make an effort to be optimistic

24. I believe positivity is contageous,

25. as is negativity (see Beware the Joy Thief)

26. I watch General Hospital fathfully

27. as well as the Real Housewives (all but OC)

28. I love to read

29. I do not remember learning to read, seems like I've always known how

30. I like to cook

31. I want to move partly so I can have a bigger kitchen

32. I love my pets; Peanut, Hurt, and Pinto. They make me smile daily

33. My dog is the greates benefit of my last relationship

34. I would like to have another relationship eventually

35. But I would like to just date for a bit first

36. I have a strong maternal instinct and hope to have kids some day

37. I think I can be really good at my job, with the right support system

38. I am frustrated at work because I've not found that support system

39. I am actively working on developing new friendships

40. I have discovered I have a talent for helping people pursue there goals

41. I really enjoy helping people

42. I am not shy

43. Or quite

44. I am observant and cautious around new people

45. I hate, hate, hate flying

46. But I will do it

47. I am seriously considering getting some sort of anti anxiety medicine just to help me fly

48. I am trying to lose weight

49. But need to find a way that does not involve me giving up cake :-)

50. or obsessing about food

51. I really miss my brother

52. And his kids

53. I love being an Aunt

54. I miss my dad every day

55. I am in the process of changing a lot of things for the better

56. I am afraid of how life will be when I make these changes

57. I am afraid of how life will be if I dont make these changes

58. I love to laugh

59. It really is the best medicine

60. I love the God Father, Goodfellas, and everything Mafia related

61. I am a great person

62. I bet you are too :-)

63. I am amazed evertime someone comments on my blog post or tells me they read it

64. I often wish I could do things differently

65. But I really don't know what I would change

66. I do believe everthing happens for a reason

67. Emotionally I am in a much better place than I was a year ago

68. I try very very hard to keep my word

69. I hate lyeing.

70. I am saving money to start a scholarship in my dad's name

71. I absolutly hate exercising

72. I do it anyway

73. I pray a lot.

74. Even for people I don't like

75. I do not like going to church

76. I hope that changes

77. I do go every now and then

78. Luckily my Faith is not impacted by my not liking church

80. I think everkyone should have a personal relationship with God

81. I think everyone should Pray

82. I have been thinking a lot about meditation

83. I have been to lazy to make time to try it

84. My house is a mess

85. My future husband will not marry me for my housekeeping skills

86. Luckily I have other skills

87. I am getting a little better at keeping house though

88. It took me two times to pass the writen part of my drivers test

89. It took me three times to pass the driving part of the test

90. That is so embarassing for me

91. I pride myself on being very smart

92. I am nice but I am not an idiot (I don't know why people confuse the two)

93. I am often not as happy as I seem

94. But I am trying to get there

95. I hate being taken for granted

96. I used to have an idea of how my adult life would be

97. It is nothing like I thought

98. I love a lot of things about my adult life

99. I do take some of those things for granted

100. I think a happy life is one where gratitude, optimisim, acceptance, are all in balance.

So tell me 100 things about you. Share your link and post 2 or 3 things about you as a comment.

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