Thursday, March 17, 2011

Thirty Plus One

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Today was my last day as a 30 year old. I am now officially in my 30’s (cue scary music). I do admit that turning 30 was much more exciting and produced less anxiety than turning 31. Not that I’m freaking out over it. Turning 30 felt like a new beginning, real adult hood. Now here I am a year later turning 31 and feeling like now what???

I am not one of those people who fears getting older. I don’t look 30 most of the time so I doubt I’ll wake up tomorrow looking old and decrepit. I think for me the anxiety comes from feeling like I am getting older and not accomplishing anything. Feeling like here I am a year later and nothing is really different. Same job, same house, and same relationship status.

But then I remember a feeling is just that a feeling and not necessarily a true representation of reality. So let’s take a moment to see all that is different since I turned 30:

At least 3 new friends
New hair color
New furniture
Weight loss
New (increasing) responsibilities at work

In addition to giving you a reason to party, have people do what you want, and be self indulgent Birthdays give you a reason to be reflective. When I reflect on these last 30 years I see that I have accomplished a lot. Here are some of my most proud of accomplishments:

I am a home owner
I own my own car that I paid of a year early
I have lost 19lbs
I have a stable job
I am financially independent and capable of providing for myself
I have several friendships that have lasted over a decade (some 2
decades)
I have maintained my faith and spirituality although I have a hard
time with church
I have found a healthy outlet for my anxiety, anger, and fears
I am honest
I am pushing myself to try new things and gain new experiences
I am a woman of my word
I am a college graduate
I have made some new friends
I have advanced in my career
I am a great Pet Parent
I have gone on several vacations
And of course I am Chasing Joy

So what will 31 have in store for me? What will be new this time next year? What accomplishments will I add to the list next year? Suddenly 31 is looking very exciting.

How has your life changed in the last year? What have you accomplished that you are most proud of?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Chasing Joy

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Choosing
Happiness,
Acceptance,
Self-Confidence, &
Inspiration!
Naturally
Gifted!

Just
Owning
Yes!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Running Towards Joy

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Today I spent $100 on a pair of shoes. No they are not Nine-West, Steve Maddens, Kenneth Cole's, or Guess. They are not some cute strappy sandal or stylish leather boot. They have thick soles, are a crazy orange and gray pattern and do not match most of my outfits. They are Brooks running sneakers with stability support. I purchased them to run my first 5K.

In my post Walking Towards Joy
I told you of my preparation to walk the 31st Annual Philadelphia Bar Association 5K Run/Walk. Well I did that walk with one of my oldest friends. We felt so good and inspired that we decided we should participate in the same 5k next year but run it instead of walking. Well guess what, time has flown by and next year is now this year. I will be running my first 5K in May.

I have never been the athlete that title belongs to my brother. Running is hard for me. It does not feel good or freeing (at least not now). It feels like I can’t catch my breath, heavy legs, heavy arms, aching feet, sore and stiff joints, in other words it feels like hard work. But it also feels like making progress on my Devil’s Workshop
goal of being able to jog 3 miles non-stop.

I am absolutely terrified of this 5K. What if I cannot do it? What if I push myself harder than ever before and I get sick and faint? What If my legs just give out and I fall on my face? The longest I’ve ever run non-stop is 2.25 miles. That was a few years ago and a few less pounds ago. I am afraid that I will try my best and it will not be good enough.  But one thing I do know is Joy and Fear are mutually exclusive. You cannot hold on to both at the same time. So I am letting go of all of these fears and making myself free to grasp Joy.

If you are in the Philadelphia Area on May 15th come out for the 32nd Annual Philadelphia Bar Association 5k Run/Walk to support Child Advocates.

What tips can you give me in preparing for my big day Running Towards Joy???

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