1. Do be gracious and resist the urge to say what the #@c& do you want. That would not be very ladylike. Instead wait for him to explain his presence.
2. Do not step outside for conversation. If things go downhill there is no need to give the neighbors a show. Plus allowing him in gives you the opportunity to tell him to “Get to Stepping” in true Martin Lawrence style if he gets out of line.
3. Do not offer him anything to eat or drink. An unexpected visit from the ex is not the time to showcase those hostess skills. Save that for invited visits from new suitors :-)
4. Do not inquire about his relationship status nor reveal yours. You do not care because he is an ex and your status is none of his business.
5. Do disregard number 4 if you have a fabulous new boyfriend (FNBF). Then feel free to say things like it’s a shame FNBF is not here or I’d introduce you, when FNBF and I were on vacation we…, FNBF and I just love it when… you get the idea.
6. Do feel confident about your looks, state of your home, etc… If you don’t feel confident; work on these things now before your ex pops up. If he pops up and you don’t feel confident this is the time to fake it.
7. Do inquire about the well being of relatives of the ex that you were fond of. It is not their fault they are related to ex.
8. Do not encourage any bonding between the ex and your pets. Also don’t freak out if pets seem happy to see ex. Said pets may go to ex for a rub or two but they know where their crunchies come from.
9. Do not! I repeat do not give in to any of your more carnal urges regardless of how much attraction there may be. Sex with an ex = bad idea.
10. Do be as sexy as you can without being obvious. It is fun to make him miss what he used to have. And it should not be too hard considering he’s the one who popped up at your door.
I used this top 10 list this weekend when my ex popped up. I survived his visit basically unscathed Joy intact.
Has your ex ever popped up at your door? What did you do or not do?