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Sunday, October 30, 2011

The Joy of Online Dating

pic from pinterest
Today we had unseasonal snow in October. Not a lot I’m sure it’ll be melted before I get up tomorrow. But it is still too early in the year for snow. Today I also saw that my front tire was once again needing air. The combination of the low tire and the slushy streets made me a nervous driver. The best place for a nervous driver is anywhere but the driver seat. So I decided to have a day in today.

I spent my day catching up on the DVR, reading blogs and checking out the online dating sites. In previous posts I have mentioned that I am currently accepting boyfriend applications. I realize it would be much more fun to Chase Joy with a partner. I belong to a few online dating sites including a free one and one of the more popular pay sites. Some people are still anti-online dating. Not me. I think it is just one of the many ways we meet and communicate with new people. I have tried it at different times over the years. I’ve meet some pretty nice people but no real love connections yet.

Anyway, if you have not noticed from some of my other posts I enjoy making lists. So to amuse myself today while checking out the online dating sites I have compiled this list of screen names/ user names that you should NOT select if you hope to meet a nice, non-crazy girl, like me online.

Here goes, in no particular order:

  • Mr. Ed
  • Bigdoginphilly
  • Whatever
  • Gone2morrow
  • Kingbeef
  • Feedmebacon
  • TheUnsane
  • Grimm69
  • DawnoftheDread
  • NeedleFound
  • Sodomhussein
  • 2daysexperiment
  • SnoppDogg
  • Notgood4u

 I think these names speak for themselves. LOL… I hope they gave you a little chuckle as they gave me.

Have you ever tried online dating? Did you have a love connection? What crazy screen name/user names have you come across as you’ve looked online for a Joy Chasing partner?

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Weekend Guest Kita: Letting It Go

pic from google images
A few weeks ago I sent out an invitation for you to be my Weekend Guest by guest posting on Chasing Joy. This weekend I am happy to welcome Kita.  Kita is the author of the blog Say What U Wanna. Say What U Wanna is where you go to say what you want, debate, disagree while respecting each others opinions. Do you think you can say what you want as you Chase Joy? I do! Let's check out what Kita wants to say.  Here is her post: Letting It Go .....

Hello my name is Kita and I was asked to do a blog post on this wonderful blog. There are things in life that will always get you down but I think having Joy will bring any situation into a new light.

I am a big fan of Oprah and I was very happy to see that she was giving life classes to people. I think we all need a class about life especially from someone who has lived it and has lived it well. I have not been able to catch all of her classes but the few that I did catch spoke to me in ways that were very much needed. One of those classes had the subject line of letting go.

Letting go talked about what you have been holding onto in the past and why it can stop you from going into the future. We all have been angry about certain things in our past and for me it is a lot of anger and I think beneath the anger there is hurt. The hurt has to be cleared up and discussed before I can tackle the anger and after I deal with all of this, I can get to the joy. My problem is letting go of the past. The past haunts me a lot and I find myself thinking about the past it keeps me from doing a lot, loving a lot, trusting a lot. I hold a lot of anger with people that I let get close to me I feel that because they are close to me they have the power to hurt me. This has happened with past boyfriends, past family members, and past friends. As soon as I let them get close, they turn around and use their knowledge of me to try to hurt me. I have gotten to a point where I do not let people get close because I am holding onto the past. I do not know how to let those people who hurt me go and this stops me from finding true friends who really do mean well and will be there for me. Not everyone is the same and I could be shutting out the real people who come into my life.

I have to find a way to grow and mature. I have a fear of being hurt and I want to get rid of that hurt and chase my joy. I have a right to be happy and it is my choice on how I choose that path. My goal as I begin to get into the New Year is to confront all of the people who have made me angry and who have hurt me. Say my final peace and then leave it at that right where it needs to be in the past. I have to let it go can you?

To find out more about Kita and Say What U Wanna visit the Say Somethig page on Facebook, follow her!/colorcoated10 and follow the Say What U Wanna Blog page directly.

If you'd like to be a weekend guest email me your post at and find additional information on guest posting qualifications here.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Flashback Friday: Life Lesson

Happy Friday and welcome to the Flashback!!!!  Flashback Friday is where we Flashback to our older posts and linkup here. We also post a link to our Flashback post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page. It is a great way to rediscover our earlier work and discover some new blogs. 

Be sure to check out AT LEAST TWO other Flashback posts.  Might I suggest the one listed before and after your post.  Please leave a comment saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts. I'm looking forward to reading all of your Flashbacks.

This week I am linking up to my post Life Lesson. In this post I learned why its best not to jump to conclusions when judging others.  Please join me in linking up.

Dont forget to grab the I am Chasing Joy button.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

How to be a Better Bloger Blogalicious Style! Part 1: What to Wear To A Blog Conference

So I’m sure you all know that I just came back from my first ever blog conference, Blogalicious 2011. If you did not know, then you must not be following me on Facebook and Twitter (boy are you missing out) and you missed my vlog from the conference. I had an awesome time! I learned so much. I can’t wait to put it all into practice improving my blog and building a stronger and more fabulous community with you Joy Chasers.

I know that many of you also have blogs, so I want to share with you all that I learned at Blogalicious. But alas I don’t even know where to start. So while I organize my thoughts in preparation of providing you with an abundance of (HBBBS) How to be a Better Blogger, Blogalicious Style posts, I will entertain you with the answer to the question that had me most worried as the conference drew near. What Do You Wear To A Blog Conference?????

I attended the entire Blogalicious conference from Thursday evening to Sunday afternoon. I drove from Philadelphia to the National Harbor in Washington D.C. It’s about a three hour drive so I wanted to be both comfortable and stylish. The first night of the conference was more about entertainment before the panels, speakers, and breakout sessions were to start first thing Friday Morning. So I wore jeans and a nice shirt with silver embellishments and my most comfortable sandals. Yes, I know its October. I’m wearing them until my little toes start to freeze.  
 The about business part of the conference started bright and early Friday morning. I wanted to feel pretty, smart and confident. I wore my new knit sweater dress with tights and knee boots. Very fall appropriate. I would not have fit into this dress 6 months ago so just wearing it gave me the boost of confidence I’d need to walk into a room full of strangers. Friday was also the day I’d be meeting one of my Bloggie Idols, Amanda, from Parenting by Dummies. I wanted to make a good impression. Amanda was on an episode of What Not To Wear and I didn’t want her to direct dial Stacy and Clinton upon meeting me. Though, I would love to be on that show.
Saturday I was feeling more at ease and in the swing of things. I opted for wide leg dark dressy denim jeans with a flowy black top and my favorite silver sandals again.

Saturday Night was the pajama party. I was not sure if I was going to wear my PJs or not. I felt embarrassed at the thought of walking through the hotel in my night clothes. But I asked several other women attending the conference and a decent number were planning to don their PJs. So I did too. I wore black Capri length bottoms with a bright pink tank, black robe and black slippers. Now unlike when I am at home I did where a really good bra and spanks under my PJs. I was dressing for a pajama party and not really going to bed, after all.
Sunday was the last day of the conference and I admit that I had not given this day much thought. The conference ended around 2:00pm. From there I was driving to my brothers to celebrate my nephew’s birthday. I did end up wearing a suitable outfit for both occasions. I wore basic black pants and a bright sheer blue embellished top with a black tank underneath and once again my sandals. I was stylish enough for the conference and comfortable enough for driving several hours to my brother’s house and then back home. This outfit was also old enough where I didn’t mind getting some of my nephew’s birthday cake icing on it.

Overall what I’d suggest you wear to a blog conference is whatever you want. But, I do have one caveat, don’t be lazy. Don’t just pack your comfortable yet ratty old sweater, jeans, or sweats. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable yet confident. Realize that you will be meeting some people for the first time and first impressions do last. Also realize if you are lucky you will be meeting people who have read your blog and how you are when they meet you in real life is how they will think of you every time they read one of your posts. So at your next blog conference wear something that makes you feel pretty, smart, confident, and Joyful.

Have you been to a blog conference or any other big event where you were not sure what to wear? What did you decide on and did it work for you?

Chasing Joy in the Spotlight

Hey Joy Chasers,

Thank you for stopping by to Chase Joy with me.  Today, however, I have the honor of doing a guest post on Positively Shining.  Ms. Positivity is the author behind Positively Shining. Positively Shining is where you go to Scrub Away The Negativity and Positively Shine.  Since I don’t want any negativity weighing me down as I Chase Joy I am spending a little time Positively Shining today.  Please come and join me.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Chasing Joy at Blogalicious 2011

Hi everyone,
I wanted to do a quick vlog from the blog conference Blogalicious 2011. I am having a great time. I am learning so much and cant wait to share it all with you. On Friday I met one of my favorite bloggers in person. Check out her blog Parenting by Dummies.  I also found myself at lunch seated next to another blogger that I follow.  Check out her blog My Life The Chronicles of Pookah's Mom, C-Dub's Wife, Rose's Daughter and Me.

Check out the vlog and stay tuned for future posts detailing all I learned and introductions to all the awesome bloggers I met Chasing Joy at Blogalicious 2011.

Have you been to a blog conference? Was it awesome?  What did you learn?

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Weekend Guest Ms. Positivity: Positively Shining While Chasing Joy

A couple weeks ago I sent out an invitation for you to be my Weekend Guest by guest posting on Chasing Joy. I am happy to welcome Ms. Positivity.  Ms. Positivity is the author behind Positively Shining. Positively Shining is where you go to Scrub Away The Negativity to Positively Shine.  Don't you want to be all shinny with positivity as you Chase Joy?  I do!  Here is her post: Positively Shining While Chasing Joy.

Hey there Shiners and Joy Chasers….it is an honor to be guest writing for such a wonderful person-Chasing Joy. Her goal in life is to chase joy and my goal is to get others to positively shine. I thought why not put two awesome thoughts together and make a dash for it. I thought how could anyone chase joy and not be positive; I honestly do not think you can. To do one a person has to do the other, so here, we are together as one.

Chasing joy is a major goal for so many from trying to ask a special person out on a date, to making a difference in one’s own life. You have to have a positive mind –set. Therefore, joy chasers let me give you some ideas as to how to Chase Joy while Positively Shining at the same time.

Here we go, hang on tight and follow us….we will guide your way!!

For starters, one must think positive. A positive mind state is half the journey to capturing your joy. Wake up and be blessed for another day. Being thankful is a sure way to being positive, claiming that the day or joy is yours.

Next, select your joy! What is if that you are trying to obtain? I suggest that a joy chaser start as big or small as they would like, as long as they map it out.

Third is to map out how you are going to go about chasing you joy. Some joys are big and need some extra planning to grab them. Do not be afraid of your joy because it seems too big to grab. Being afraid makes it difficult, so when your joy seems too big all you have to shout is “This is my JOY and I am coming to get it”

Claim your joy! Like any other thing in life, a joy chaser should claim their positive day, completion of goals and that is just to name a few. As with other life desires claim your joy to be yours. That is the other half of the battle just to simply believe that your joy is obtainable. Claiming your joy should make you feel positive about chasing it. It is yours to chase as freely as you like. In addition, it is perfectly fine to have more than one joy. The more joy you have the happier you will be.

So chase after each joy and every joy that you have in your sights, and remember to positively shine while do so!

If you'd like to be a weekend guest email me your post at and find additional information on guest posting qualifications here.

How do you Positively Shine while you are Chasing Joy?

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Flashback Friday: How do I Love Me!

Welcome to Flashback Friday,where we Flashback to our older posts and linkup here. We also post a link to our Flashback post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page.

Don't forget to check out AT LEAST TWO other Flashback posts. Please leave a comment saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts. I'm looking forward to reading all of your Flashbacks.

This week I am linking up to my post How Do I Love Me Let Me Count The Ways.  In this post I asked you to list all the things you love about your self? I hope you will join me in linking up.

Dont forget to grab the I am Chasing Joy button.

Things I Have Never Done But May Do for Joy

I saw this writng prompt on Mama Kat's Losin It and thougt it be a fun one to do. 

I am 31 and I have never:
  1. Set foot in Europe
  2. Needed to go to a dermitologist
  3. Eatten seated on the floor Japanese style
  4. from pinterest
  5. Been to Disney World
  6. Sang Kareokee
  7. Been on TV
  8. Seen more than on episode of The Wire
  9. Been able to do a cartwheel
  10. Ridden in a convertable
  11. google images
  12. Gotten a really crazy hairstyle
  13. Completed a crochete project
  14. Been to a Bed and Breakfast
  15. Completed a crossword puzzle
  16. Walked a Catwalk
  17. Watched an MMA Fight
  18. Taken days off work for a Staycation
  19. Caught a butterfly
  20. Worn a single digit dress size
  21. Wished on a shooting star
  22. pinterest
  23. Gone skinny dipping
  24. Been kissed under mistletoe
  25. Had a Secret admirer
Can you think of 22 things you have never done but would consider doing for the sake of JOY?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Typical Tuesday Turning Toward Joy

Today was just a typical Tuesday.  I got up, worked out, walked the dog, went to work, ran errands after work, and put in some FB, Twitter, Blog time. Soon I'll be logging of the laptop letting the dog out to potty and headed to bed.  It was a typical Tuesday but then again it wasn't.

Nothing really out of the norm happened today yet I feel as though today was a turning point for me.  Today I told my boss about my blog!!!  I did not really want to tell her but at the same time I didn't really to keep the fact that I am Chasing Joy a secret.  When I first started this blog I was almost anonymous.  But slowly  as I have come closer and closer to embracing my Joy I have come more and more public with my quest for it. 

Almost all of my friends know about it and my closest family members know about it.  But up until now very few of my co-workers knew about it and my boss definitely did not know about it (unless she overheard and feigned ignorance very well today).  I liked the fact that I could come here and vent about work without worrying about offending.  I know what you are thinking, so why did you tell your boss??? 

This week I am preparing for my first Blog conference BeBlogalicious 2011.  The conference takes place in DC and I have taken off a couple days of work to prepare.  So when the boss lady said "you're going away right? Where are you going?", I had a choice.  I could play it safe and just say DC where she knows I have family nearby.  But I decided not to play it safe and to speak my truth that I write a blog and will be attending a blog conference.  I did not give her the name of the blog but I'm sure if she Googles me she'll find me here Chasing Joy. 

Today I also received my Chasing Joy Business cards.  I ordered them in time for the blog conference.  I am really nervous and excited for BeBlogalicious and wanted to be prepared business cards in hand.  The cards turned out great!  There is something about holding them in my hand with my name along with the title Blogger that makes this real for me. 

Today I also found out that one of my co-workers has a secret second career outside of the office.  His other job is quite a departure from what we do day to day.  Of course a little google investigation was done and it appears that his second job persona does not quite match up with the persona we encounter Monday through Friday.  I'm sure this is part of the reason I let my boss know I am Chasing Joy. 

The person you see (and will hopefully meet in person at BeBlogalicious) is not a dramatic departure from the Blogger you encounter on Chasing Joy.  So there is no need for the secrecy.  I don't revel other peoples identities on this blog.  What I write is largely upbeat and positive.  So I should be and am proud to be Chasing Joy.

Today the combination of blog conference prep, business cards, and revealing that I blog to my boss has made me realize that this little blogging thing that I do is more than just a hobby to me.  It has become as much a part of my identity as my 9 to 5 career.  Today has been the turning point where I admit to myself how important my writing, Chasing Joy, and all you Joy Chasers are to me. 

Have you been to a blog conference?  Will you be at BeBlogalicious 2011?  Have you ever had a day like I had today, a day that was so typical but in that normalcy managed to be a turning point toward your Joy?

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Weekend Guest Angel Amore: Atumnal Joy

picture from
A couple weeks ago I sent out an invitation for you to be my Weekend Guest by guest posting on Chasing Joy.  I am happy to welcome Angel Amore.  Angel Amor is the author behind Energy ExchangeEnergy Exchange promots the spaciousness of our minds and reminds us that  All creativity is possible & there is so much Energy to Exchange. At Enery Exchange you will think, see, feel, taste, hear, & find out about so many diverse topics, of all things life enhancing, loving, & positively peace. Creativity, Positivit, and Peace are awesome foundation for Chasing Joy. Here is her post: Atumnal Joy

I love the fall! There is just something about the way autumn feels, that creates such Joy within me. It's the legacy of the country child, running free, down dirt & graveled roads, chasing joy & chipmunks through the woods behind our family house. Fall represents the memories of all the years before & remembering those joy filled times.

Autumn brings so many changes. Changes in the air, as a cool, crisp breeze envelopes us. Changes in color, as treasures of the elements begin to transition from greens, into bright yellows, oranges, gold, & red. Even the skyline is arrayed in a canopy of magical beauty & soft whispers of togetherness.

Many people think of autumn as the ending to a carefree summer season, but more often than not the crisp temperatures, bright colors in nature and turn towards yummy fall foods leaves people invigorated and infused with a spritely new energy. That energy is called JOY!

This is a time to release the things that are no longer serving our lives… just like we do in spring, only it’s autumn. We should also slow down to think about the loved ones who are no longer with us in presence, but still with us in spirit. A time to give thanks for all that we have & be grateful for all that we have been brought through. There’s also the joy of the holidays as they gather friends & family together to celebrate, decorate, & create more memories.

Read on to see how you can begin Chasing Joy this Fall season …

There are so many joy filling things to do in autumn, joy chasers! So don’t stay inside & hibernate, get out & see the world change!Whether you hike, bike, walk, or drive, have a family, a significant other, or it’s just you & your furry companion friend, there is always something to do to bring joy into your life. Here are a few examples...

1. Pumpkin Patches – find your very own perfect pumpkin at one of the many “pick your own” pumpkin patches. Many of the farms also offer other fall festivities, like hayrides, haunted houses, wine making & apple orchards… where you can learn how to make wine & pick your own apples.

2. Nature Walks/Picnics – There are plenty of parks, picnic grounds, & corn mazes in Pennsylvania & New Jersey that offer tours & lessons on harvesting. You can gather some friends & family, pack the picnic baskets & enjoy this interesting learning experience in the great outdoors.

3. Fall Festivals & Special Events – Research events like the Midtown Village Fall Festival, Center City Restaurant Week and the Philadelphia Marathon that take place each fall season.

4. Hiking Trails – Pennypack Park & Valley Green are people friendly parks that are open year round for hiking the trails, stories by the campfire, & tours of the lands. They have lots of events to join in on for a joyful autumn experience.

5. Garden Deco – A fall garden is your way to extend the summer & spring a little bit longer. If you enjoy gardening, this is a great time to add new produce to your list of accomplishments. Fall gardening is just as rewarding & even easier than gardening during spring & summer months.

6. Home Crafting – Autumn leaves are a magnificent source for crafting. No coloring/painting necessary. Mother Nature has already given us beautiful colors to work with. Collect some leaves, acorns, pine cones, herbs, etc… that you’ll find at your local park or along your hiking trail. Get the glue gun out & make a lovely autumn wreath, or a leaf mobile with collected leaves, some string, & a branch. Have fun with it & get the family & friends involved, as well.

This is high time to get outdoors to chase joy, get those creative juices flowing & allow some Autumnal Joy into your heart!

Happy Autumn, Joy Chasers!

To find out more about Angel Amor and Energy Exchange visit the Energy Exchange page on Facebook.

If you'd like to be a weekend guest email me your post at and find additional information on guest posting qualifications here.
Will you be participating in any of the Atumnal Fun that Angel has mentioned?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Flashback Friday: Is 30 the new 20?

Welcome to Flashback Friday,where we Flashback to our older posts and linkup here. We also post a link to our Flashback post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page.

Don't forget to check out AT LEAST TWO other Flashback posts. Please leave a comment saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts. I'm looking forward to reading all of your Flashbacks.

This week I am linking up to my post where I ask is 30 the new 20? I hope you will join me in linking up.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I Got Stabbed… While Chasing Joy!


pic from google images
 But it didn’t hurt, and I paid for it, and there weren’t any actual knives involved. Ok so I didn’t really get stabbed but I did have about 9 really sharp needles inserted into my body. This past Saturday I had my first experience with acupuncture. My cousin had been before me and assured me that the needles did not hurt. I had heard good things about acupuncture and its benefits in controlling pain and anxiety. I had also heard it could be beneficial for weight loss. So of course I was intrigued.

I had to fill out some forms including what I hoped to treat with acupuncture. I listed Weight loss Anxiety/Stress, and my right ankle in that order. Before the stabbing, I mean treatment, began the acupuncturist went over my forms. We talked mostly about my diet and how acupuncture could assist me with losing weight if I had a healthy diet and exercised but could not make me lose weight by itself, duh… The acupuncturist drew a diagram of a plate with the biggest section made up of veggies, the smallest section being made of meat and fats and the middle sized portion representing whole grains. The lesson: everyone, holistic and western medicine, is on the same page when it comes to eating right.

After going over the forms and talking more about my diet, stress and how I hurt my ankle I was lead to the room where I’d be repeatedly stabbed with little tiny knives, I mean receive acupuncture therapy. It was very serene and spa like with cool green hues and the beds with the pillows placed just where you need them, under your knees and neck.

I laid on the bed, shoes and socks off, pants’ legs rolled up and arms exposed in my tank top for easy access to all of my pin cushiony parts. I tried to relax and deep breath but my palms keep sweating in preparation of the first needle.

Right smack in my forehead it went. No pain at all. I could only feel it when he moved it. It kind of felt like a hair being moved on my forehead, until he pushed it in a little more until I could feel pressure. About two minutes later I was a human pincushion with one needle in my forehead, one in each forearm, and three in each of my lower legs. Then I rested.

I laid with the needles in me for 20 minutes or so. I tried to relax but my mind wandered quite a bit. Then I started to really feel my body. I mean I could feel the actual weight of my bra on my chest. I have never noticed that before. It was quite heavy. I started to freak out and then realized sticking a bunch of needles in your skin could make you a little more self aware.

Before I knew it time was up. The needles were removed and it was time to pay. Afterward I did feel kind of sleepy. The therapist said he’d given me a treatment that would make me a little “loopy”. He also said he chose spots for the needles that would help me relax, boost my metabolism, and decrease my sugar cravings. Later that day, I forgot I was supposed to have less sugar cravings as I bought some candy. I guess I need a few more treatments. Lol

Over all I had a great experience with the acupuncture. I know that any result from the treatment happens over several treatments. I will be going back a few times to see how it works for me so stay tuned.

Have you ever done anything out of the norm, controversial, or even painful in an effort to have a more Joyful life in the long run? Or, am I the only one who is willing to get stabbed while Chasing Joy.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Weekend Guest Keazy: Changing Your Mindset to Accepting Joy

A couple weeks ago I sent out an invitation for you to be my Weekend Guest by guest posting on Chasing Joy.  I am happy to welcome our first Weekend Guest, Keazy.  Keazy is an easy going guy that has an open mind and loves to learn.  That sounds like a perfect foundation for Chasing Joy.  Here is his post:
Changing Your Mindset to Accepting Joy

I am a firm believer that there is joy in almost everything we do. You can find Joy in things that most will not. Take for instances myself, I find joy in driving, making that special one feel special and helping others in need. I have learned to accept that warm feeling in my heart when Joy comes my way. That special feeling inside that you know you can’t shake and you know that it’s there.

Over the years, I have been changing my mindset to be more accepting of things, especially Joy. I can remember two of the worst days of my life when I really realized that life is short and accepting Joy can really change my life. The first time was about 6 years ago when my best friend committed suicide. I will never forget that day because I fell into a very deep depression, very dark place in my life. I shut myself off to the world and couldn’t find a way to snap out it. Months went by and I didn’t see any Joy coming my way.

The one thing that came out of this was that rest of my best friends and I have become closer. It was like an unspoken bond between us and I remember the year when we went to Virginia Beach for vacation one of my friends stated that “you know we are missing one”. All of us said at the same time, “I was just thinking the same thing”. Lots of things were said in that mall where we were popping tags like we were CEO’s. We all found Joy in the fact that we were all closer after his death even though we were still grieving. We changed our mindset to accept the Joy that was given to us even in sorrow. Opened up our hearts and feeling about what happen only to realize that we are now brothers for life. An unbelievable feeling.

The other bad day in my life was this past July when my grandmother passed away. The glue to our family was gone just like that. It hurt so badly because it was two days after I celebrated my 33rd birthday. I remember attending a cook out during the evening in which I stayed at a friend’s house and I got the phone call at 5 in the morning from my father and he said I need to come home now. My parents told me the news and I was devastated. I couldn’t breathe; I just sat in the chair and took it all in.

I was more in shock than anything else. As I was having a good time at the cook out my grandmother was dying and when I found out the time she passed, I couldn’t believe it because she had crossed my mind that instant and I said I would call her in the morning. She was off and on sick and I told myself that I would take the drive down to South Carolina to see her but I never made it. I regret that decision to this day.

We left that morning to drive down to South Carolina and when I was behind the wheel, I just thought about every year, us taking this same trip down 95 south to South of the Border to get on to US 301/501 to Conway and US 701 to Georgetown. I can drive to my grandmas with my eyes closed I know these roads so well. Walking into her house for the first time and realizing that when I ring this doorbell, she will not be on the other end of the door to let me in just melted my heart away. I finally realized that this is real. My dad was very encouraging to me saying “son, you are not going through this alone; every one misses her just like you”. I wasn’t trying to hear that, I just wanted my grandma back.

The moment my cousins arrived we all just gave each other big hugs. My oldest cousin Eric proceeded to go to the back yard and just sit and we all joined him. We started telling funny stories about grandma beating us and the way she would always cook all this food for us to eat and how they were jealous of me and my brother because they thought she gave us special treatment because we come from Philadelphia and they saw her every day. Little did they know I felt jealous of them because they were able to spend time with her whenever they wanted. As we continued to drink Crown Royal and coke, we decided as cousins, that we would not let this death break up the family. We have all gotten closer as a unit and I could not be happier with my family. We all changed our mindset from sadness to the Joy that she brought to all of our lives. There is sunshine under every cloudy sky.

You can find Joy in almost anything in this world. You just have to change your mindset in order to accept it instead of running away from it. Listen to your heart, it tells you what your Joy is.

To read more of Keazy's work visit his blog A New Beginning, friend him on Facebook, and follow him on Twitter

If you'd like to be a weekend guest email me your post at and find additional information on guest posting qualifications here.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Flashback Friday - Happy to be 30

Welcome to Flashback Friday,where we Flashback to our older posts and linkup here. We also post a link to our Flashback post on the Chasing Joy Facebook Page.

Don't forget to check out AT LEAST TWO other Flashback posts. Please leave a comment saying why you selected your Flashback post and what you thought about the other Flashback posts. I'm looking forward to reading all of your Flashbacks.

This week I am linking up to my post on why I was happy to be turning 30.  I hope you will join me in linking up.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Where Chasing Joy is From

I am from row homes from Quarter Juice Hugs and Lemon Heads.

I am from an old house, a family house, and a living room that was truly lived in and accompanied by a soundtrack of laughter.

I am from the buttercup, the morning glory, and making wishes on dandelions.

I am from jig dances and Christmas pranks; from Bill and Barbara, the Hartie’s

I am from soldiering it and perfect attendance.

From pig feet and monkey lips; from enjoying the absence of pain.

I am from church on Saturday and supermarket on Sunday.

I’m from North Philly, Nicetown, Germantown and Erie

From Homemade Sweet Potato Pie.

From a cat named socks and boys who destroyed both a clock and TV with one toss of a ball.

From a dad who gave me my own lullaby and a mom who gave me permission not to be nice

I am from pictures over the mantel place and change in the bowl.

From football all day Sunday and DIY aka watching paint dry.

I am from peace, calm, support, uncondittional love, and a foundation ideal for Chasing Joy.

This post is inspired by a writing prompt called Where are you from? 
So tell me where are you from?

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Joyless side of the Bed

I woke up the wrong side of the bed. You know the side where everything looks the same yet for some reason it is all so very annoying. The side of the bed where the sounds you hear daily and normally don’t notice are so loud and give you a headache. The side of the bed where people who normally only slightly annoy you suddenly are intolerable and need to be abolished from your presence. The side of the bed where your hair does not act right, your clothes don’t fit right, and you just don’t feel right. The side of the bed where you feel weepy and anxious and don’t know why. The side of the bed where you look down and discover you only have polish on 9 of your toes. The side of the bed where all your mistakes at work rise to the surface to drown you in stress. The side of the bed where you pay $384.40 on your cell phone bill instead of $38.40. The side of the bed where you gain weight instead of losing weight. Are you familiar with that side of the bed? That is the side of the bed I woke up on this morning.

What I probably needed to do was just get back in bed, lay there a little longer, maybe even get some more sleep, and then get back up on the right side of the bed. Alas, a Monday morning does not allow for that. So up and at them, facing the day on this wrong side of the bed. Since I am an adult, I am aware that the way things seem on the wrong side of is not necessarily how they are in reality. No one is laughing and pointing at me so my hair and clothes probably look ok. The girl with the annoying voice is not talking any louder than usual. Severely overpaying the cell phone bill does suck now but will be really sweet when I don’t have to pay it for the next few months. And leaving the house with pretty pink polish on 10 toes and only to discover you only have it on nine toes is actually a little funny, or at least it will be tomorrow when I get up on the right side of the bed.

So, like I said because I am an adult, and am aware that the view from the wrong side of the bed is a little obscure, I will not act out on any of these feelings. I will not talk negatively to myself about my hair, weight, job performance, or anything else. I will not snap and pop an attitude with the people who annoy me. I will not walk around with a scowl that will cause people to feel either uncomfortable around me or compelled to ask me what’s wrong. I will not slam things, curse, yell, or in any way act like a total Biotch!

What I will do is stay to myself as best I can at work. I will turn my ringer off and respond to messages as people call so I can familiarize myself with their issue before talking to them to keep down my stress. I will ask my fellow Joy Chasers on FB and Twitter for advice on what to do when you’re not feeling your most joyful. (Actually just communicating with all you positive people clears some of the shadow cast by waking up on the wrong side of the bed. Joy Chaser suggestions included saying a prayer for calmness and peace, visiting the site, and watching my favorite comedy on TV). I will also amuse and cheer up myself by coming up with this list of things to do and not do upon discovering that you have woken up on the wrong side of the bed. (remember I told you I love making list)
  • Do avoid eye contact with people you do not want to talk to. Eye contact is the precursor to every conversation.
  • Do not give anyone any sort of relationship advice. Parent/child, boyfriend/girlfriend, employee/boss it does not matter your advice will not be level headed nor reasonable and if they take it they may get dumped, disowned, or fired.
  • Do not perform any sort of performance evaluation on a subordinate
  • Do pick this day to encourage your kids, spouse, roommate, friends, etc… to do that activity that they love, but you hate so they will get far away from you.
  • Do wear your headphones at work to drown out the annoying chatter around you.
  • Do not listen to a bunch of gangster rap or other high testosterone music that will get your more fired up.
  • Do reach out to a friend who knows how to listen and what to say to make you feel better
  • Do not bear your heart to your judgmental self-absorbed friend who will somehow make it all about her (or him).
  • Do allow yourself to indulge in a piece of chocolate, glass of wine or something that you consider a special treat.
  • Do not indulge in a box of chocolates, bottle of wine and every treat within reach. This will only lead to pants that won’t zip and more days of waking on the wrong side of the bed.
  • Do have a cry if you need to get it out your system.
  • Do not have a cry while sitting at your desk surrounded by all of your annoying co-workers as they point and stare in horror.
  • Do go to the gym and run, lift weights, or hit a punching bag to burn some aggression.
  • Do not run over, punch, or throw weights at anyone. This = jail which = endless days up on the wrong side of the bed.
  • Do something fun like create your own list of things to do and not do when you are not feeling your usual joyful self.
How do you get through those rough days so you can quickly return to Chasing Joy? What is on your do and don’t do list?

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Joyful Tradition - October The First


Do you hear what I hear? If so, then you hear the merry melody and holiday harmony of Christmas music. I know what you are thinking Christmas Music it’s too soon it’s not even winter. But time flies whether you are having fun or not. Christmas will be here before you know it. So October the 1st is the day we start preparing for Christmas in my family.

My paternal grandmother started this tradition. I never met her but I heard she was a great lady. She had a lot of kids and not a lot of money so she’d start making small purchases and creating a festive
Christmas atmosphere starting October the 1st and keep the Christmas Spirit going up until Christmas day.

My dad brought that tradition to my family. He’d start prepping and counting down to Christmas on October the 1st. But most importantly he’d start playing Christmas Music. I’d wake up year after year knowing it was October the 1st when I’d hear the voice of Nat King Cole describing Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire and Jack Frost Nipping At Your Nose, The Temptations paying tribute to the Silent Night, Holy Night or Bing Crosby asking Do You Hear What I Hear?

So today in my house and in my brother’s house although it is too soon to purchase Halloween candy or thanksgiving trimmings you will hear the sound of tradition in the form of Christmas music.

Do you find joy in keeping family traditions? What practices have been passed down through the generations in your family?

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